El luchadores no es bueno... :(

Another Friday night in Amarillo and another oportunity to watch me some wresteling. I heard some of the kids at school talking about the underground WW(whatever) scene. I decided to check it out even if that meant on my own. The venue for this wrestling happens to be right around the corner from where we live so tonight I waited until Jeremy got home. Tucked the kidos in bed and prepared myself for an adventure. In my mind to make this a sucess and worth my time I had to see a few things:

1. masks

2. stretchy pants

3. capes

and to make it extra special I wanted to see:

1. a little person

2. some sort of hairy dog/man

3. a vendor selling some nice hot corn on the cob

As a deprived gringo my only exposure to this sort of cultural experience was of course Nacho Libre. I looked through my closet to find my best wrestling outfit and finally settled on a hoodie sweatshirt and jeans. I was definitely NOT going to wear any jewelry or freshen up the deodorant (I didn't' want to stick out like a sore thumb). I was ready and I was pumped!! This is a picture of me "pumped" I do NOT have a lazy eye and that would be the "rock on" sign not the "by jove I've got it" hand shape the pinkie is just a little hidden there.

I get there and the lady at the front door tells me it is going to cost me eleven bucks. I was kind of shocked at the pricey entry fee but my people were all expecting pictures so I handed her a twenty and what happens next is still a little confusing to me. She hands me back a five and a one and apologized that she is out of ones. I look at her like this isn't going to cut it and then she says wait a sec takes the change back from me and then hands me a ten and a five. I still didn't get it then she explains to me, "I don't have enough ones so next time you come I will have to get it to you." I was very confused. Perhaps she meant eleven pesos and I totally over paid her. I was in and there were already a couple of guys in the ring fighting. As I walked over toward the crowd and action I was hit by a total funk of cigarettes, beer and a generic bad hygiene smell. Pretty gross but I was glad I choose the no touch up on the deodorant. FUNKY!! The second thing that shocked me was exactly who the wrestling fans were. Apparently wrestling bridges all race, age, mental capacity, and economic gaps. There seemed to be a representative from all paths of life. Grandparents with their small grand kids. Random children running around unattended, very preppy looking college kids, middle aged clean cut "we just finished dinner at the Outback" kind of people mixed in with what I am sure was the homeless community of Amarillo. When I checked out the action in the ring I was totally disappointed, it was a couple of gross white 20 somethings without a mask in sight. "This isn't what I just paid to see!" I don't know what I was expecting but it was all totally fake too. Fake hits to the face and body while the hitter slapped his own leg really hard and loud. Throw in some basic tumble moves and you too can be a "semi-professional wrestler". The sillier you make your "I'm in pain" face the more the crowd eats it up. It was so loud and if your guy gets hurt you boo and hiss at his opponent. People had signs and shirts made up it was a little like a white trash version of American Idol. At this point I was mostly enjoying the fabulous people watching. I had my camera out and I was snapping pictures left and right. I was a little nervous that someone would ask me why I wasn't taking any pictures of the fighters so in my mind I had a cover story already about writing an article for some "online magazine".

After the first fight was over one of the crowd favorites stood in the ring and offered to take pictures with people for five dollars. I loved how the parents, who just seconds earlier were cussing, and flipping off the wrestlers were now throwing their young children up on to the ring to have this sweaty greasy guy hold their baby for a Polaroid souvenir of the evening. CLASSY!! I try not to be judgemental of other's parenting techniques but come on. After the photo session was over the announcer (this is the guy with the suit and microphone for all of you newbies at wrestling) yells out, "I have good news and great news!" The good news was that the main event was about to start and "El Grande" was in the house, the great news was that he had two bags of candy for all the kiddos in the audience. I was a little surprised that even the announcer thought the candy was the more exciting of the two pieces of news. This is when all the little unattended children had to fight off the homeless community for all the free candy as it was thrown into the audience. After the candy was cleared off the floor the lights all started to dim and some fantastic mariachi music started to blare. I knew I was getting what I came for as they announced the next two fighters El Grande verses El Gringo. My mental list came back to me as the guys walked to the ring. Masks CHECK, stretchy pants CHECK, capes... well two out of three ain't bad. I took some pictures of the main event and their eclectic fans but just couldn't stick it out to see the finish. The smells, language and atmosphere was just getting to me. I got what I came for and I had enough to make my report.

It was seriously hilarious but honestly the funniest parts were all of the people as shocking as it is to see big masked, greasy guys in spandex "fighting" each other it was much more shocking to see these parents and what goes on just around the corner from my house. I would say that the pictures and description of the evening should be enough to satisfy most of you.