Visiting Teaching Conference

Today our Relief Society president arranged for all the women in the ward to meet during third hour for our annual VT conference. I really thought this was a great way to ensure a good turn out. Our RS president also happens to be a great friend of mine and I was at her home visiting her last Wednesday when she asked me if I would possibly prepare a short testimony of the VT program to share with the sisters. I told her no problem and started thinking of what I would speak on. I decided to speak on a personal experience that in retrospect taught me two very important lessons.

In June of 2001 Jeremy and I had just given birth to our second child Riley. Everything went well until the delivery and I very unexpectedly was told I would have to have an emergency C-section. I was very nervous and upset but of course agreed to do what ever I had to do to have this baby safely. She was delivered and other than a slight amount of jaundice she was perfect. At the time Jeremy was very busy going to school and working full time. His job did not give him much vacation or personal time off and we planned to bless Riley in California so we both agreed that he would be there for the delivery but I didn't expect him to be at the hospital for the remainder of our stay. My parents were kind enough to drive down for her delivery to help us with Jacob who had just turned two but didn't know how long they could stay because my sister was due any day with her first child. Luckily they were still around when we were discharged so my father was able to drive Riley and me home but they had to leave immediately after because they had gotten word that Emily was in labor. They left and I remember having this over whelming feeling of despair come over me. I felt so unprepared and nervous about taking care of the two kids. I was also in quite a bit of pain from my surgery. At the time we were living in this little apartment that was literally underground. The final straw for my little pity party was when my sweet little two year old son came up to me while I was sitting in our recliner and climbed up onto my lap. I wasn't thinking about the huge incision on my stomach so I didn't try and stop him. His little foot dug deep into my stomach ripping out two of my staples. I remember thinking what else could possibly happen to make this situation even harder. It was a very dark time in my life and I spent the first day home alone crying and worrying about how I will ever be able to be a good mother to these two babies. Looking back it almost seems silly but between the medications I was on and the situation of feeling very alone this was just how I felt. I did not call any one from the ward to ask for help and this was my biggest mistake. I should have picked up the phone and called someone but I kept thinking that they will call me. It really never happened. I had no one come by and visit and no one bring in any food. I would have loved to have had someone come by and pick up Jake for the day but that didn't happen either. I got through it with time but it was a truly sad and lonely place for me to be in.

Fast forward about five and half years when we were delivering our little Morgan. Morgan was another C-section baby and was born with severe jaundice. She had to stay in the hospital a little longer then I did and went home with a special UV bed that she was required to stay in as much as possible for the first two weeks of her life. The situation could have been one that would lead to another episode of depression but this story is a much happier one. I had some of the best visiting teachers a woman could ask for and so many others who were not "assigned" to me but offered help. The three kids were all farmed out to different people's homes until my mom and dad were able to get there. Meals came pouring into the house, friends came to visit, and best of all Sister Curtis one of my visiting teachers came by after my parents had left and took all three of my older kids for hours. Morgan was still in her UV bed and I was trapped in our house, she came by without asking and offered to take all of them all day long. It was such a needed break for all of us. It was as if Sister Curtis was anticipating my needs and I will always be grateful to her. I felt so much love from the members of the church toward me and my family. We were all so impressed with how much people were willing to help us. Living so far away from family means that our friends and ward members very much become our extended family.

Comparing these two experiences has taught me two very important lessons. I have such a testimony of visiting teaching and compassionate service. I love to give service to others and feel so blessed when I have that opportunity. The other lesson I learned is that I should not just sit there and wait for help when I so desperately need it. I could have very easily called my visiting teachers when I was feeling so depressed after Riley was born. I did not make that call and in essence I denied sisters from the blessings they could have received had I called and given them the opportunity. I was grateful for the opportunity I had to share these experiences today at church. I have a love for the visiting teaching program and for providing service to others.